New Years day

 i had done a blog this day but i deleted it with my clueless mind lol :p so here im going to write as much as i 

can remember and i still hope it can inspire and touch others:

 This song is so true its a new year and God says let all the past be forgotten and lets start fresh and that's just what im going to do at 12:00 when 2012 begins :D "it feels like new years day cause life’s gonna get its hands on me I know troubles gonna call my name,but you’ll be standing there trying to remind me that Dark has turned to light & I will celebrate all my wrongs made right, everything
has changed, my sins have been erased & it feels like New Years Day.."

My night started off when my mom inspired me and my friend to do this:

Mom:Ask me why im wearing all black..
Me:Why??
Mom: im going to a funeral
Me:whose??
Mom:2011's im berrying this 2011 year and forgetting it and starting fresh

This year of 2011 will be over at midnight tonight and it is starting 2012. :D
I always spend my newyear at my Pulse which is my youth group family..i have been with my youth family now for 4 years and i feel welcome. i am one to say 2011 was really rough and i and glad its going to be 2012 so i can start new with God and family and anything else in life. I want to start this blog with saying i could not make it through this life without my God who has saved me and is all i need in life now. I also want to thank all my friends and younglife and youth leader for helping mend me when i call or text really late just needing encouragement. I want to mostly thank my friend Courtney long story short i have actually never met her in person but she has inspired me so much in life and the struggles..she is one that always encourages when people are down i felt worthless one day and she told me to look at her blog called "someone worth dying for and when i did i started balling tears and was left speechless..or the time she was up on facebook and said she would pray for me at the moment i just basically wanted to give up and die. Also thanks so much to my two best Pulse youth friends Majenta and Ali you are both amazing and Majenta you are like my sister i have never had you answer your phone almost every time i call and you give me amazing words that seem like they are right out of Gods mouth to me :D it i didnt have your dailey encouragement when i was down in the dump all these times i would have laid in bed crying sad tears insted of pulling up a song on my ipod or Youtube you told me i needed to listen to and the longs then you tell me to listen to change my thought for that day. And best of all the secrets i am able to share with you and Ali are secrets that could never be shared with anyone but you guys cause your just that awesome. I want to ask you of this 2012 to Forgive me for things i know i have done to hurt you..I cant imagain what my life would be like without you in my life and you putting up with my snappy girly hyper moments that im just mean and snobby, I love you so much and want to ask God to clense my mistakes i have made in 2011 and start a new and better friendship with you in 2012. Most importantly let me tell you all i could not make it through without everyone but like i said mostly my God and savior. I have had nights i just wanted to die or hurt myself and i do my routine and turn on Klove radio and say God i cant do it anymore and then that next minute im left crying uncontrollably with joy cause a perfect song came on the radio i just needed to hear to keep moving on.God is the only one that has kept me going and i couldnt be alive today in this new start and new beginning of 2012 if i didnt have God. God has saved me and with Gods power he forgives me even before i ask so in 2012 i have decided to write a poem to follow my life with God and hope it inspires others as well i wrote it in a way to God personally. The poem is listed below:

                                                            How can I use the New Year??


To better serve my Lord?
I’ll read my Bible every day,
And be more in accord. I’ll find new ways to serve others;
I’ll love my neighbor, too.
I’ll focus on "give" instead of "get"
In everything I do. I’ll forgive the people I’m mad at;
Angry feelings I’ll discard;
I’ll try to love my enemies,
Even though it’s hard. In the new year, I’ll lift people up,
Instead of putting them down.
I’ll fill my heart with love and joy,
And never wear a frown. I’ll let go of my worries;
I’ll put it all in His hands;
I’ll repent and try to sin less,
And obey all His commands. These new year’s resolutions
Are difficult, at best,
But there’s something I can do each day
That will put my soul at rest: I’ll love my Lord with all my heart,
With all my mind and soul,
And if I do that essential thing,
All the rest will be in control. As i am writting this blog God is speaking to me by this song: i was randomly playing the play list of my media player and it was on shuffle and this song came on and i decided to listen to the lyrics cause i felt God was telling me to and when i did i started crying by the spirit God filled me with and he told me its going to be okay its a new start and a new beginning after tonight and lets make it count. The song has been on my media player and ipod and mp3 forever but i just have never actually listened to the true lyrics till now:  

I way listening and my favorite lyrics are "You are holding me together with hands that hope forever" "When the storm around me ranges your love never changes God you are strong" "you are with me lord always with me lord" "when the waters rise around me i am safe in the valley lord you are near always you have me surrounded by your grace" "when my strength is gone i will not be afraid" "My refuge when the walls have fallen you are near the broken" "for you make beauty from the ashes with love that never ceases""God you are all i need you are here with me"its basically all the lyrics but this song tells it all God is so powerful i cant even explain in words you have to experience the powe to experience who God really is..and for one out there that think they have sinned to much or done to much wrong or are not good enough for people..let me tell you that God is who you need to mend that hurt he is not only a friend he is closer than a brother like Proverbs 18:24 says:A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Experience the power of God in 2012 it will be worth it trust me the experience is indescribable until you feel the change and power that takes over all of your life and hurt and pain with suffering. God did that for you by dying on the cross for all our sins to be covered even the ones that seem you could never forget.God is the one that changes all and heals the broken hearts :D God bless happy New Year 2012